


You Fool! I Was Drunk All Along!

by RavenThePhantomThief



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alcohol, Drunkenness, ONLY I CAN TRICK MYSELF - QUOTE: AKIRA, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 10:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15970019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenThePhantomThief/pseuds/RavenThePhantomThief
Summary: I wondered how the Persona 5 Characters would act when they are drunk. So I decided to write a short story about it.More might follow, but don't expect anything too soon.





	You Fool! I Was Drunk All Along!

**Author's Note:**

> So I am currently writing on some other projects and I needed some distraction. So I wrote this. I might update this in the future, but only if I have an idea and only when I fear that working on something else might not be good at the moment.

Akira:

Makoto entered the café. She was worried about Akira. They managed to trick Akechi into thinking that their leader was dead, but that means he was basically imprisoned in Leblanc. Makoto was afraid that he would go crazy without anything to do.

She closed the door behind her and gave the boy behind the counter a smile.

"Hello Akira, how are you?"

Wait... why was he behind the counter? Leblanc was closed today? Was he cooking for himself?

Akira twitched and stared at Makoto. He completely froze, like he didn't know what to do.

"Wait... Akira? What is in that bottle in your hand? Whisky!"

"No!"

"Yes, it is!"

"No, it isn't!"

"Are you drunk?"

"No! You have to believe me!"

"Okay... I believe you!"

"Haha! You fool! I was drunk all along!"

"What?"

Apparently, when Akira was drunk, he thought he was some kind of supervillain. At least he behaved like one.

"Okay. No. You need to go to bed and sleep until this stuff is out of your body!"

"No! Do you really think there exists a bed in this world that can hold me?"

"Akira. You are going to bed, not to prison!"

The leader of the Phantom Thieves pulled something out of his jacket.

"Haha! I always escape every situation!"

"Is that a smoke bomb?"

"I made it because I knew you would appear and try to stop me!"

"Wait... you made that while you are drunk?"

"NO ONE CAN CATCH THE TRICKSTER!"

But before he could throw the smoke bomb, it exploded in his hand. It was just a small explosion and only his head was in the dark cloud.

"AH! I TRICKED MYSELF!"

He tried to run in another direction and hit his head on a wall.

"... and he is knocked out. Great. Now I have to carry him into the attic."

Makoto grabbed Akira by his ankles and dragged him towards the stairs. She heard somthing tear appart. She might have pulled a bit to harsh because Akira's pants were gone. Or better, she was only holding his trousers while the rest of his body has fallen back on the floor.

This was bad. But it got worse.

"Hey, I heard screaming, what is going on here?" Sojiro had entered the café.

He looked at the two. Makoto was staring back at him, still holding Akira's pants.

"... Oh... is it this time of the month? Well, I saw nothing."

What? NO!

But he left again, before she could say something.

"Great."

She grabbed Akira by his arms and started to move him up the stairs.

"Could you do me a favour and leave your clothes on? Not that don't think you are attractive, but I think this would be more fun when you're sober."

* * *

Futaba:

Akira's phone was ringing. He looked at the clock. 02:31 o'clock. Who the hell was calling him this early?

"Hello? Who is there?"

"Akira! Are you awake?"

"Futaba, is that you?"

"Of course! What a stupid question. Now answer me! Are you awake?"

"... What did you just say about stupid questions?"

"Stop pretending you're smart and answer my question!"

"Yes! I think I am awake!"

"Good! You have to help me! He is in my closet and he is whispering mean things!"

"What? Who is in your closet?"

"Lightning McQueen."

Akira stopped. "...You mean... the car?"

"Yes. Lightning McQueen is sitting in my closet and he is telling me that he is going to fuck my mom. I don't want Lightning McQueen to fuck my mom. That's necrophily! Also car's shouldn't have sex with humans."

"Well, yeah that is true, but- wait. Are you drunk!"

"Maybe! But I know if a talking car is real or not when I see one! I have supernatural abilities you know? I also can tell if a dinosaure in a movie is real or not!"

"So Sojiro has bought himself Absinth and left it somewhere were childs can reach it."

"WAIT! AKIRA!"

"What?"

"Don't hang up!"

"Some drunk weirdo is annyoing me at 02:32 in the morning. Of course I hang up."

"Akira, if you hang up now, I will die."

"..."

"..."

"...Well, sucks to be you. Bye!

Akira put his phone away.

"I guess I should apologize later."

He laid down again.

"If she remembers..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus:
> 
> Makoto: Wait, you named your kitchen-knife Makoto?
> 
> Akira: Yes
> 
> Makoto: Why?
> 
> Akira: Because it hurts me when I touch it in the wrong places.

**Author's Note:**

> If you laughed leave a comment. If you don't leave a comment... well, then nothing happens but I will be sad... ^^
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this small piece of nonsense as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you like my stupid humour, I would be happy if you gave my other stuff a chance.
> 
> I hope you have a nice day! Bye. ^^


End file.
